A Non Plugged In Day
I have a tendency to be plugged in. It allows me to hyperfocus, be distracted, and feel like I accomplished something all at once. Being a father and husband can be frustrating because you aren’t moving at your speed but at the speed of others. So as an escape I plug in. My wife, being the patient person she is, reminds me of this regularly.
Today I was not plugged in. Today I was hyperfocused on cleaning and reorganizing my basement and parts of my upstairs. I accomplished most of this. The basement and part of the kitchen has been redone to better use the space. Foods we don’t eat everyday or even every week were taken down to new shelves my nephews and I put up.
Furniture was moved around and appliances were identified that we could do without. I even put a phone on ebay for sale. Our trash day this week is going to be a nightmare. At least 6 trips up to the curb from the basement.
Now it’s the end of the day and we have accomplished much. But there is still much to do to finish. That’s the hard part. Stopping.
Identifying
Do you feel like you can identify with others? Show a sense of empathy? I think a lot of people would say yes. On the same hand do you think a lot of people can identify with you? If you were me that would be a resounding NO.
I feel most days like no one gets me. That most people cannot identify with me. No matter how succesfull or well I do my job, I feel like I am not. I don’t know of many people that can identify with that. That have that question burrowing into their head. I do. But for some reason I don’t let it stop me.
I recently found someone I think I can identify with. He posts around the frequency I do and we have similar hobbies. Jeff’s A.D.D.
Sometimes I head over to the different ADHD forums, Additude magazine, or other blogs by people with ADD. Some of them seem similar but like all mental health deficiencies it varies by person. Our brains work in such an amazing way it can be so heartening to find someone you can relate with.
I love to work, to cook, to create, to solve problems, to dive in and find problems I can solve, and to help people, and to find new ways to do old things. How many of us do this? I belong to a group of men and women around the world called The BBQ Brethren. These people I can identify with. On the other hand, I wonder if they can identify with me? I put that aside and enjoy their company, even if I’ve never met most of them.
It is refreshing to read Jeff’s blogs and see what he’s seeing. Identifying. It’s a nice feeling.
Impulse Control and Other Traits I Got From My Dad
Do you have good impulse control? Do you see something that interests you, zero in on it like a laser beam, and then keep on it until it’s done? Like new appliances, or maybe furnace appliances? Does this drive your spouse crazy?
The answer to those questions for myself are No, Yes, Yes, and Yes.
That sequence of responses may be wrong for others in your life, but for those taking the test there is no wrong answer.
I wish I did, but I don’t. It seems like when I get into a pattern I can’t get myself out until I come headlong into reality. Like a visit with my dad and listening to him piddle away every dime he ever made for the last 50 years of his life on the next new thing. It’s that stark look into a possible future self that brings home all that awaits you as you see yourself and all of the traits you inherited from him.
That sounds terrible. For most of my life I thought that my impulsiveness was mine alone. My Dad wasn’t really around and it was probably for the better really. I knew about his infamous brainstorms only after I was an adult. He’d have a far fetched idea and without considering his family, he’d be off. Well at least when he was younger. After he married my step mother OkJun he toned it down quite a bit because she would kick his arse all over town.
But it still exists. He goes in cycles like all people do. The funny thing is I see in him what I see in myself or vice versa as it is. There are good traits. Persistence, optimism, hope, faith, trust, and imagination. But the impulse control - man it blows. The difference now is that I know. I know what A.D.D. is. I know what I can do about it. I am doing it. I’m still working on impulse control.
Unfortunately my Dad doesn’t and he probably won’t. While I don’t listen as well as others, the last people he will listen to are his children. While his perception is that others may do things out of friendship and the like, his children on some level are obligated. Which we are, on some level. It’s too bad he doesn’t see that if he treated us as well as he treated his friends, we could be his friends too, instead of his obligated children he’s ignored for the better part of 40 years until he’s exhausted every avenue and has to ask for help.