A Diagnosis Delivered
3-4 months ago I was diagnosed with AD/HD. I dismissed it as an excuse for bad behaviour or energetic children. Earlier this year a doctor told me I had a completely different disorder after talking to me for 15 - 20 minutes. That one put me in the hospital for a day. It completely put me off the diagnosis offered by the mental health profession.
I was and still am to some extent convinced that medical professionals in large are becoming prescription writers. There are other ways to treat illness, physical or mental than just prescribing the latest and greatest medication. It was for this skepticism that I was hesitant in seeing a psychiatrist again about anything that they could not fully diagnose. But after talking to my family doctor and doing some research I relented and made an appointment to see a psychiatrist about AD/HD in the event it was a real diagnosis.
We sat and discussed my past starting from my childhood. We talked about major life events and also issues that finally brought me to his door. After sitting and discussing these for about an hour he suggested I try some medication to determine if it would help in the issues I am facing and to read a prominent book about AD/HD titled “Driven To Distraction”.
I did both. I was amazed at the initial effect of the medication. The clarity. The focus. Seeing my world through a clear lense for what seemed like the first time. Being able to sit down and work at my desk for hours instead of minutes. To be able to listen to a conference call for the whole time and get something out of it. To complete a large number of tasks without hesitation and procrastination. In the weeks following at the Dr.’s orders we’ve adjusted the medication dosage to find the right amount that 1. lasts the duration we need it to and 2. causes the least amount of side effects. It’s a work in progress.
More amazing than the medication was the book. It was as if I could finally understand why I’ve made the decisions I’ve made over the years. It explained motivations behind many of the decisions I’ve made through out my life. Some good and some bad. The more I read the more I learned about what AD/HD is and isn’t.
What it is:
-
A neurological disorder in the brain where the uptake of key chemicals is off balance. Not any different than the people that suffer from depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, or anything else that relies on the brain’s capability to regulate chemical uptake and creation.
- A disorder that is manifested by multiple symptoms that all start from childhood. Whether the person realizes it or not until much later is irrelevant. The history is there that provides the foundation for the diagnosis.
- Treatable
- Manageable
- Lifelong
What it isn’t:
- An excuse for screwing up if an accurate diagnosis has been made.
- An excuse for not living up to your ideas or goals
- A hinderance to your life if you don’t want it to.
I’m not an expert. I’m learning. I know now what some of my inherited limitations are. In my life with all that I have accomplished I also realize that I have left goals left undone and unexplained. I see why they went undone. Not because of the loftiness or the length of time but because they would have been difficult for normal people but for someone with AD/HD they were unrealistic. Not that I have limitations to what I can accomplish but in the way that I go about it.
The traits that are symptomatic of AD/HD are also some of my best qualities. Creative, daring, impulsive, sensitive, ability to hyper focus for extended durations to complete tasks, multitasking. These are what have made me what I am today. My question now is since I understand this the only question is with the knowledge what will it make me tomorrow.